Grief

today is not as good as yesterday

and tomorrow can only be worse
but tomorrow will happen
as days tend to
and i will sit here
and wonder why
you are not here
and i wish so badly
that you were

days
they make no sense
anymore
because i thought
you would be here forever
every
single
day
at least until I was old
or older
or at least sorted out
in some sense
but I am relatively young
and in a mess
and you are gone
and I am lost
without you

and time
doesn't heal
no matter what they say

time
just enables us to pretend
things are not quite as bad
as they actually are
and those
who cope with loss easily
didnt really give that much of a shit
in the first place
and i miss you
and i always will

ae
Jan 2005