Beauty And Disgust

there is only one thing worse than being completely fucked
and that is knowing it.
ive been fucked for years
but ive only just realised it
and the sheer beauty of it all
makes me feel disgusting

details, reasons, and excuses
are all futile
they make no difference
but at least I understand

if you've ever had a pretty severe hangover
and you wake up feeling like someone just spat you out
and the sun shines in spite of you
and even though it makes you feel a little better
you can't bear to look at it
or yourself
and the sheer beauty of it all
makes you feel disgusting

details, reasons, and excuses
are all futile
they make no difference
but at least you understand

ae
Feb 2006